Rhonda's Tips for Single Folk

My tips for being single are simple and most are common sense, but sometimes we all have a tendency to complicate matters.  I often have to come back to these when I lose sight of my goal.  I started a diary in 2012 of random thoughts and emotional ramblings to help me try to make sense of ME.  Which brings me to my first tip:

1.  What do you want?  Please don't tell me that you want to meet someone who completes you and you live this wonderful life satisfied and fulfilled, waking up each morning with joy and purpose. All the pain inflicted on you by others is miraculously healed from the love of one person. That's completely ridiculous.  There is no one person who completes you.  You complete you!

Now I'm not against marriage, that's a great topic for another blog and honestly, I may not be qualified or be the best person to give marital advice.  What I am saying is that as a single person, get busy defining, planning and setting in motion your ideal of how fabulous your single life will be.  Spending all your time waiting, hoping that Prince or Princess Charming is going to someday make you happy is a complete waste of time and energy.

If your job or your home is not what you want, you need to change it.  You need to change it.  Looking for someone else to change your lifestyle or financial status will only make you miserable.  Even if you do find the most perfect person who supports you and provides every possible need you may have, chances are, you will not die simultaneously as this wonderful person.  That's crazy!  At some point in time, it is very likely that you will be on your own and you will need to know how to survive on your own.

2.  Your Home is Your Sanctuary.  Your home should be the place you come to find peace.  You eat, work, think, pray, laugh and cry in this place.  Free of judgment and expectations, this is where you lay your head, bad day or great day.  I think that for most of us women, our home reflects what is important to us and is also a reflection of our personality.  As a single person, this home is decorated with no compromises.  It is everything you want, the furnishings and decor of your taste.  I actually think it is important to get rid of everything that reminds you of a former spouse(s).  Not everyone agrees with that and that's okay, but it should be your happy place!

3.  Identify Love in New Places. Whether it be faith, family or friends and yes, your pet, love does not have to come from a significant other.  I have friends and family who are frequently on the look out for potential love interests for me.  When I was newly single, it was slightly aggravating, but now I understand that their desire to see me in a relationship (most of the time) comes from a very loving place.  They have the best of intentions, but I do have lots of love in my life!  I am so fortunate to have a healthy and supportive family.  I work with the best people in my office and am so grateful for my clients and work.  I have some truly inspiring and gifted friends.  I have faith and am a very spiritual person and I feel very loved.  It's not some elusive thing missing in my life.  You have to look for it to find it and it doesn't have to be all wrapped up in one person.

4.  Spoil Yourself!  Whenever I accomplish a goal or reach a milestone, personally or professionally, I do something great for myself.  I'm not waiting for someone to recognize my achievement or decide that I'm worthy of recognition or reward.  This may be the most awesome thing about being single!  I'm incredibly generous and I am my best cheerleader!  Lol!

Oh and one last thought, sleeping sideways in a king sized bed is probably the most awesome sleep I have ever had!!

What is your best advice for newly single folks?

Dinner for One? Yes, please.

I started this blog four years ago to document my journey moving to a new area with a new love interest and the goal was to start a new life.  I was optimistic and with an adventurous spirit sold the home I loved, packed up and took off!

The Little Brown Cottage was purchased and I set about improving, designing and nesting.  I worked hard both in my career and in my personal life and I decided, for once in my life, to put much effort into finding a balance between the two.  Here are the photos of the finished project.

Situated on 8 acres this tiny home in the woods felt more like home than any other place I had ever lived.  The setting was beautiful!

New doors, new floors and a whole lot of painting later.  This home turned out so charming and warm!

While renovating this home, which I had thrown myself into, my new relationship was coming to an end.  I lived there several months after the breakup and continued to put the finishing touches on this adorable cottage in the woods.  Looking back, I think fondly of this place.  It was a magical place of self discovery.  I don't think of it as a place where my relationship fell apart, I think of it as rite of passage or a window to the beautiful place my heart would take me to today.

Goodbye to my Little Brown Cottage!

We bought it!

I wanted to post a quick update on my personal home we purchased at auction. Here's a photo of our little brown cottage in the woods.

We have been busy, busy, busy, working at work and at home.  Our journey began with a tornado and at times it feels like we are still living in a tornado.  We both have usually about an hour a night to work on it and try so hard to work all day on Sunday, but neither of us can be gone from work for a whole day it seems.........but we are SO EXCITED!

We wanted to downsize, simplify, get back to what really matters in life, so the Little Brown Cottage seemed to fit the bill, with a few minor tweaks and adjustments. 

Well we ripped out all of the floor coverings.  ALL of the floors.......all of the doors.....all of the closet doors.

Here is a photo of our master bedroom before we starting ripping out.  Good size room and there is a door to the outside just to the right of the window you can't see in the photo.  The previous homeowners took very good care of the home, but it was time to make it ours.

 

Here is a photo of after (and we are still working on it!)!  I will post more photos later.  We have painted almost every inch of the house. 



 

Purchasing A HUD Home

Many buyers in their initial search seek out foreclosures and short sales because they are priced so agressively, but many are surprised by how much repair/updating these homes really need.  With a little elbow grease, or sometimes with a lot of elbow grease, these homes can be great purchases.

I truly have some very talented clients who are not afraid of the work it takes to get the job done and have a vision for homes.  Where some people see problems, they see opportunity.

Here are some before and after photos of one of my most talented clients.  This couple, with help from their dad, got down and dirty and right after closing, rolled up their sleeves and got busy removing carpet, toilets, windows, and popcorn ceiling.  They weren't even scared of the popcorn ceiling!

Before of the exterior:

After of the exterior:



This couple changed the trim color, base color, installed new windows and tore out the overgrown shrubs which had literally taken over the front yard. 

Removing the popcorn ceiling can be laborious, but the crisp, new ceilings of this home have brightened and modernized this home.  It really does help with resale!  I can't tell you how many times certain buyers will turn their noses up at this outdated texture.

Ceiling Before Removing Popcorn:

After Removal of Popcorn!

The Final Product!  Whoo Hoo!

[Insert Applause]

Girl Power!

The real estate market has been very challenging in the last five years.  With the rising number of foreclosures, short sales and sellers who have to come to the table with a check, the market for buyers, sellers and real estate professionals has become somewhat moody.  One of the biggest changes for me personally, is the relationship we have with the seller.  Before 2006, when the seller came to closing, he/she was very excited to pick up their check and move on to greener pasture.  They were great to work with when the buyer's lender or the buyer requested repairs because they were motivated to pick up the check.  In today's market, depending on a seller's situation, they may have purchased their home for more than the current buyer has offered.  So when they are approached with a repair request, it's like adding insult to injury for them.  "What more do they want from me?"

Real estate has been and remains today a long term investment.  Much like the stock market, it has fluctuated historically and home ownership is still the key to investment diversification.  Those who purchase homes, work on savings and investment will fair much better in their retirement years than those who do not.

There are opportunities in any real estate market, and the market we are experiencing right now is no exception to this rule.  The most encouraging trend that I have personally witnessed is the number of independent, young working women who have purchased homes.  They are hardworking and very thrifty savers.  These women have been very careful and prudent buyers who have purchased homes with loans at all time lows and if they remain in these homes for the next five years could impact the economy in very positive ways in the coming years.

Oh and yes, I have seen many single young bachelors make the move to purchasing homes instead of renting and waiting until they are married.  They too have been careful and prudent savers.  These young buyers are buying five maybe ten years sooner than my generation bought homes.

I'm very impressed with this Generation X!  And on that note, here is a photo of one of those proud young clients who purchased the most adorable cottage.  She is busy with landscape and is having a blast making it hers!

What Happens When a Real Estate Agent Sells Her Own House?

Oh.....I'm so glad you asked!  When a real estate agent who works 60+ hours and has her phone stuck to her ear and is constantly checking email and text messages on her Droid, this is what happens.....

Notice that thirty minutes prior to closing, I just tossed my winter coats over the display case which was the only available space left in this huge rented storage space, which by the way, did not hold all of my furniture!! 

Its a miracle I got it moved by the deadline and it wouldn't have happened without a lot of help from my mom, Kay Van Kampen , my step dad and Doug!  Thank goodness for them!!

I always tell my clients to have a Plan A and Plan B.  If you close on time where will you live, and if you don't close on time, what is your plan?

Well, Plan A is to purchase another home and effortlessly, simultaneously close both and live happily ever after.  Plan B is to move into a short-term rental, RV park or hotel.  My Plan B?  Move in with my mom (pronounced MAWMHH).

So.......here's my room!  I just brought a few clothes with me...........

Yes there is a closet in this room and it is so full, everything I pull out is wrinkled and yes, there are two freestanding wardrobes full as well.

So......I will find time this weekend to look for my own home......most likely.....

Dress Up Your Fireplace

In our market area, there were many homes built in the late 70's and early 80's with wood paneled walls and native Missouri rock fireplaces.  If you are searching for a home,  don't rule out these homes which can be great values.   Here are some ideas to lighten and brighten these spaces.

Many of these rock fireplaces were constructed using black mortar between the rocks and made the fireplace look very dark and in contrast to today's light and bright modern interiors.

One of my many talented clients considered taking a pry bar and a hammer to her fireplace, but decided that if she lightened up the fireplace it might fit in nicely with her colorful country decor.  She literally went over the black mortar with an off white and really changed the look of her fireplace.  You will also see in this photo that she also painted the paneling which really changed the look of the living space.

What a huge difference! 

OR:

If you do opt to completely remove the rock and your tastes run to something more contemporary, in this next photo my client decided to keep the original mantel but replaced the surround and hearth with a beautiful marble.  When my client originally bought this home, the fireplace was not featured in the photos.  We currently have this home on the market and the fireplace is now the focal point of this living room.

The warm colors of this living room are all tied into the fireplace. 









You can view the tour of this home at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXfZ9vkZbu8