Monday, February 22, 2016
Rhonda's Tips for Single Folk
1. What do you want? Please don't tell me that you want to meet someone who completes you and you live this wonderful life satisfied and fulfilled, waking up each morning with joy and purpose. All the pain inflicted on you by others is miraculously healed from the love of one person. That's completely ridiculous. There is no one person who completes you. You complete you!
Now I'm not against marriage, that's a great topic for another blog and honestly, I may not be qualified or be the best person to give marital advice. What I am saying is that as a single person, get busy defining, planning and setting in motion your ideal of how fabulous your single life will be. Spending all your time waiting, hoping that Prince or Princess Charming is going to someday make you happy is a complete waste of time and energy.
If your job or your home is not what you want, you need to change it. You need to change it. Looking for someone else to change your lifestyle or financial status will only make you miserable. Even if you do find the most perfect person who supports you and provides every possible need you may have, chances are, you will not die simultaneously as this wonderful person. That's crazy! At some point in time, it is very likely that you will be on your own and you will need to know how to survive on your own.
2. Your Home is Your Sanctuary. Your home should be the place you come to find peace. You eat, work, think, pray, laugh and cry in this place. Free of judgment and expectations, this is where you lay your head, bad day or great day. I think that for most of us women, our home reflects what is important to us and is also a reflection of our personality. As a single person, this home is decorated with no compromises. It is everything you want, the furnishings and decor of your taste. I actually think it is important to get rid of everything that reminds you of a former spouse(s). Not everyone agrees with that and that's okay, but it should be your happy place!
3. Identify Love in New Places. Whether it be faith, family or friends and yes, your pet, love does not have to come from a significant other. I have friends and family who are frequently on the look out for potential love interests for me. When I was newly single, it was slightly aggravating, but now I understand that their desire to see me in a relationship (most of the time) comes from a very loving place. They have the best of intentions, but I do have lots of love in my life! I am so fortunate to have a healthy and supportive family. I work with the best people in my office and am so grateful for my clients and work. I have some truly inspiring and gifted friends. I have faith and am a very spiritual person and I feel very loved. It's not some elusive thing missing in my life. You have to look for it to find it and it doesn't have to be all wrapped up in one person.
4. Spoil Yourself! Whenever I accomplish a goal or reach a milestone, personally or professionally, I do something great for myself. I'm not waiting for someone to recognize my achievement or decide that I'm worthy of recognition or reward. This may be the most awesome thing about being single! I'm incredibly generous and I am my best cheerleader! Lol!
Oh and one last thought, sleeping sideways in a king sized bed is probably the most awesome sleep I have ever had!!
What is your best advice for newly single folks?