Just When I Have it All Figured Out!!

I love my life!  I'm not exaggerating. I seriously love my career, being single, being 50, being a woman, living alone.  I'm in a great place emotionally and spiritually.  It's all going so well...........

Enter this young man.

My youngest son finishes his tour of duty with the U.S. Air Force in October and will begin classes at Drury University.  Proud?  Oh yes and more.  So thankful everyday he's healthy and happy, And,  uhm......he's opinionated, he's passionate, and not afraid to share his thoughts with others.  He cooks.  He's messy.  He's judgmental and irritable one minute and he's loving and supporting the next.  He is impulsive and moody.  Oh goodness, he is ME and he is moving back home.  Moving back into my house and he already wants to take over my Dressing Room.

Did you hear what I said?  He wants the spare bedroom and the Dressing Room, for God's sake.  My shameless display of jewelry, perfume, cowboy boots, petticoats and all things princess-like and feminine.  My haven of all things girly and good.  Oh my, all of the blood in my brain is falling to the deep caves of my empty heart....................I feel faint.................

And he's dramatic.  Oh crap, he really is ME.

But despite all of the issues we are sure to face living in the same household again, I feel an overwhelming sense of pride.  Me and Christopher have these incredible conversations that a person can only have with someone who really and truly knows you.  Not the you, that you want others to see.  The real you.  I love and embrace the person Christopher has become and look forward to encouraging and supporting him to graduation and beyond.  And I will pick his dirty laundry, iron his shirt from time to time, but mostly I'm grateful that I was blessed to have two boys, Sean and Chris.

It's the perfect story and in the end, it's so great to be a Mom!

Vulnerability for the Single Man or Woman

I recently watched an incredible Ted Talks video about vulnerability from a social researcher that truly made an impact on me. Any socially relevant information I take in,I always try to apply to myself and evaluate it from a single person's vantage point.  Her name is Brene Brown and she is a social researcher.  A very thought provoking talk that caused me to ponder how vulnerability affects single people, but after much thought, I believe it doesn't matter whether you have a significant or not.

As young women, we entered into our first relationships with all the hope, faith and innocence young girls often possess.  Hoping that we would find mates who would be great providers, husbands and fathers.  Dreaming of years of hard work, raising loving families, celebrating milestones and transitioning together into golden years of fond memories of love and mutual respect.

This simply didn't happen for me.  It didn't happen for the large majority of us.  Even for my friends and acquaintances who are still married decades later to the same spouse, staying together was a struggle and the reality of life and work and children often brought them to one crisis after another crisis, another adjustment and a lifetime of choices and compromises.

Those of us who simply could not weather the storm and ended our marriages for one reason or another, mourned the loss of our innocence, our hope and faith and set about rebuilding our lives as single women.  Though we all defined what that life would be differently, we all as a self defense mechanism start to build these walls and insulate ourselves against being hurt again.  We enter into a type of survival state where our fight or flight instincts are on high alert.

Those who stayed married, they built up walls too as life became challenging, but I believe that single women are artful and skilled at reducing and numbing their vulnerability.  I believe single men do this to a higher degree as well than their married counterparts.

But what spoke to me the most that Brene Brown had researched and studied was that when you are focused on numbing and reducing your vulnerability, you are in turn, numbing and reducing your ability to feel and experience joy and pleasure.  That being vulnerable is essential to experiencing joy and happiness.

Wow.  Im going to give this some additional thought.

I highly recommend watching this!

https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

Dinner for One? Yes, please.

I started this blog four years ago to document my journey moving to a new area with a new love interest and the goal was to start a new life.  I was optimistic and with an adventurous spirit sold the home I loved, packed up and took off!

The Little Brown Cottage was purchased and I set about improving, designing and nesting.  I worked hard both in my career and in my personal life and I decided, for once in my life, to put much effort into finding a balance between the two.  Here are the photos of the finished project.

Situated on 8 acres this tiny home in the woods felt more like home than any other place I had ever lived.  The setting was beautiful!

New doors, new floors and a whole lot of painting later.  This home turned out so charming and warm!

While renovating this home, which I had thrown myself into, my new relationship was coming to an end.  I lived there several months after the breakup and continued to put the finishing touches on this adorable cottage in the woods.  Looking back, I think fondly of this place.  It was a magical place of self discovery.  I don't think of it as a place where my relationship fell apart, I think of it as rite of passage or a window to the beautiful place my heart would take me to today.

Goodbye to my Little Brown Cottage!

Girl Power!

The real estate market has been very challenging in the last five years.  With the rising number of foreclosures, short sales and sellers who have to come to the table with a check, the market for buyers, sellers and real estate professionals has become somewhat moody.  One of the biggest changes for me personally, is the relationship we have with the seller.  Before 2006, when the seller came to closing, he/she was very excited to pick up their check and move on to greener pasture.  They were great to work with when the buyer's lender or the buyer requested repairs because they were motivated to pick up the check.  In today's market, depending on a seller's situation, they may have purchased their home for more than the current buyer has offered.  So when they are approached with a repair request, it's like adding insult to injury for them.  "What more do they want from me?"

Real estate has been and remains today a long term investment.  Much like the stock market, it has fluctuated historically and home ownership is still the key to investment diversification.  Those who purchase homes, work on savings and investment will fair much better in their retirement years than those who do not.

There are opportunities in any real estate market, and the market we are experiencing right now is no exception to this rule.  The most encouraging trend that I have personally witnessed is the number of independent, young working women who have purchased homes.  They are hardworking and very thrifty savers.  These women have been very careful and prudent buyers who have purchased homes with loans at all time lows and if they remain in these homes for the next five years could impact the economy in very positive ways in the coming years.

Oh and yes, I have seen many single young bachelors make the move to purchasing homes instead of renting and waiting until they are married.  They too have been careful and prudent savers.  These young buyers are buying five maybe ten years sooner than my generation bought homes.

I'm very impressed with this Generation X!  And on that note, here is a photo of one of those proud young clients who purchased the most adorable cottage.  She is busy with landscape and is having a blast making it hers!

What Happens When a Real Estate Agent Sells Her Own House?

Oh.....I'm so glad you asked!  When a real estate agent who works 60+ hours and has her phone stuck to her ear and is constantly checking email and text messages on her Droid, this is what happens.....

Notice that thirty minutes prior to closing, I just tossed my winter coats over the display case which was the only available space left in this huge rented storage space, which by the way, did not hold all of my furniture!! 

Its a miracle I got it moved by the deadline and it wouldn't have happened without a lot of help from my mom, Kay Van Kampen , my step dad and Doug!  Thank goodness for them!!

I always tell my clients to have a Plan A and Plan B.  If you close on time where will you live, and if you don't close on time, what is your plan?

Well, Plan A is to purchase another home and effortlessly, simultaneously close both and live happily ever after.  Plan B is to move into a short-term rental, RV park or hotel.  My Plan B?  Move in with my mom (pronounced MAWMHH).

So.......here's my room!  I just brought a few clothes with me...........

Yes there is a closet in this room and it is so full, everything I pull out is wrinkled and yes, there are two freestanding wardrobes full as well.

So......I will find time this weekend to look for my own home......most likely.....